Progress & Photos

I wanted to re-visit the reason I actually keep a blog on my struggles and triumphs in weight loss. Its not because I think someone actually really cares what I do every day or you actually care how much I weigh or what I'm eating. I know my closest friends and family love me no matter what.

I'm in a good place mentally right now. That may change by next week, but right now I'm going to roll with it.

I write this blog to keep myself accountable. This post is really what started my mindset on accountability. "Dieting Naked" means that instead of unspoken promises to yourself to be "good" tomorrow and then eat a bowl of ice cream right before bed, you announce your intentions. You unveil yourself, diet in plain sight without shame. 

I'm now accountable to you. You know my intentions. You will know the deepest desires of my heart and you have my compete permission to slap me on the wrist if you see me behaving otherwise. Thats why I pour my heart out in these corners of the internet. No more secret deals with myself that I break when the first hard day comes up. No more promises in the dark that I forsake in the daylight when confronted with an Oreo package. No more. Because I can't fathom doing this on my own. The struggle is so... so real. "diet in plain sight without shame". NONE, peoples. I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit that I struggle. Like, fall off the wagon with your face flat in the mud with your shoelace caught on the wheel so you get drug for a while and can't get up, kind of struggle.

And when I fall (which I have countless times) ... I know admitting it and sharing my story is ok. I'm not perfect.

This was today's fitbit readings... see all that green?? Not a discouraging day, here! I met each and every one of my goals. That doesn't happen every day, but I have to pat myself on the back when it does happen. I did have to go take a 30 minute walk around the neighborhood this evening to get it done... but *newsflash* I kind of really actually enjoyed it.... go figure.

I did some calculations in my head tonight of how much weight I've actually lost from my heaviest. Give or take because I don't remember what my highest weight recorded was. It was somewhere around 400 pounds. So from 400 pounds, I've lost 133 pounds. That is a % loss of 33.75%. (holy cow!)

I see numbers like that and while I still have a long ways to go.... I don't feel quite so defeated anymore.... in fact, I feel quite the opposite. 

I haven't done any photo comparisons in a while... So lets keep this good juice flowing! 

These pictures were from 2007. Just over 2 years after I had surgery for a pituitary tumor that caused Cushing's Disease and all but destroyed my body. I might have already lost a little weight by this point due to wedding craziness and dreams, but not very much.  Fast forward.....

And then there is the "today" photos... still not done with weight loss. not quite an "after"... but progress is being made, right? * .....side note: the humidity is killing my hair today :(  

*For my hubby, who I'm not so sure liked being blurred out of our wedding photo... sorry. You know I love you oh-so-much! You are my rock and my solid supporter through everything I've been through health wise and otherwise. I couldn't make it without you. Thank you for everything.

Not enough hours in the day...

You ever have those days where '....ugh, do I have ANYTHING together in my life anymore?' seem to be part of the main thought process more than 'hey. I got this.' ??

I'm not going to lie. I kind of take a bit of pride in my google calendar schedule and trying to fake myself into thinking that I've got a handle on things. Menu planned - check. gym schedule - (kind of) check. Kids pick up - check. work, hubby time, appointments - check check check. Honestly, if it ain't on the google calendar, it.don't.happen. I feel like I'm living minute by minute, reminder alarm to reminder alarm. I do much better this way than I do just figuring out things as I go. This girl doesn't do loosy goosy very well..... and yet.... I wonder if this is really a good way to live?

With every single minute planned to a tee... I can't even schedule in time to relax or do the tings I want to do. Like I choose to be selfish tonight and ignore the dishes in the sink and the semi chaotic state of my house so I can have 20 minutes to sit here and blog tonight. But I'll regret it when I wake up in the morning and have to rush around to finish up cleaning. The only thing that I really have control over sacrificing is my sanity and my sleep. Both of which (from previous experience) aren't really a good thing to toy with.

I'm struggling right now. Struggling with balance, struggling with holding up everything on my plate and really... really struggling with weight loss. I guess that is what is weighing heaviest on my heart right now. I'm not at all where I want to be. not even close. I'm no worse off than I was a few months ago. I'm not gaining weight and I think that is a feat to be proud of in itself.... I have my focus in too many different directions right now to be successful in weight loss.

....And I'm tired. tired of feeling like I'm failing and just plain tired. So there you have it. Dieting Naked. The ugly truth that some days are good and empowering and other days finding yourself at rock bottom with a shovel in your hand still digging deeper.....

I won't give up. My kids deserve better from me. I think this balancing game isn't something I'll ever really 'get'.... just one day at a time trying to tip the scales more in the direction of 'good' vs. 'bad'.

For now... I'm going to go take some dust of the treadmill and try and work myself into a state where I feel like a shower and then bed is all I can want. We'll deal with tomorrow (and the dishes) in the morning. Goodnight.

27....28....29.....30!

I really can't believe that in t minus 1 day I'm.going.to.be.30.. woah. And yet... at the same time.... eh. really 30 is just one more year that I am blessed to be loved by my family, and have the opportunity every single day to do the things I love.

If you grab my kindle from me at any random moment, you'll probably find on it some silly mind boggling game that I like to play, pinterest and most likely some book that I'm in the middle of reading that has something to do with improving myself in some way shape or form. It might be about motherhood and child psychology. It might be about weight loss. It might be diet related.... It might be about organizing, design etc etc.... I seriously can't get enough information in my brain about being myself, but just a little bit better. I have my moments where I feel on top of the world and like I really have it all together... and then I start to cry because it falls apart. (a perfectionist's downfall)

I know full well that I will never reach perfection and I know that I am by no means a failure either. But I'm also never ok with just settling in the thought that who I am at this moment in time is the best that I will be.

5 years ago, I decided that I was going to be at my goal weight by the time I hit my 30th birthday if it (even if it killed me!)... hmph. Unless I figure out a way to lose 60 pounds by Thursday... that ain't happening. Over the last year I've had to come to terms with that. Its really hard. Its been 8.5 years since my diagnosis and surgery to remove the pituitary tumor. I really thought that by now I would be 'cured'. It kind of sucks that my health isn't as much on board as my brain is about letting go of the pounds. One thing is for certain though, my 30s will be SO much healthier than my 20s. THAT is my new goal.

I've always been a perfectionist and the crazy OCD habit of a perfectionist is to set boundaries and goals for yourself... then try to attain them, but surpass them. I compete with myself (like a crazy person... wait... it isn't, just me that does this, is it?).

Speaking of goals:

Did y'all see the Oscars? For me, there were a lot of "who's he?... oh." and "She is famous?... oh, ok." Don't get me wrong, I am happy that they give awards for the behind the scenes people too. A LOT of work goes into making all those pretty faces look good on film. Good for all you people I did not recognize. Y'all looked lovely.

My personal favorite moment was when Matthew McConaughey won Best Actor award. I mean, yes, he is a wonderful actor and I think most every girl on this planet will agree that the good Lord was having Himself a good day when He made Matthew, am I riiiiiight? (yes, I'm on a first name basis). Did you hear the speech he gave? wow. I mean, wow. Inspiring to say the least. Not only did he give thanks to his pretty wife and his momma, he gave thanks to God for everything he has accomplished in life. I LOVE him even more now.

Here is the link if you're interested and feel like being inspired :) (skip to 0:40 seconds to get right to the point. People clap a lot) If you missed it, watch it. watch it now. I'll put the video here below so you don't even have to go search youtube for it. Seriously, Its less than 3 minutes. Watch it.

At 1:17 Matthew says the 3 things he needs every day. "someone to look up to, something to look forward to and someone to chase"

At 2:20 He says while growing up his momma demanded that he respect himself and in turn that lead to being better able to respect others. (Something I think there is way too little of in this world)

At 2:49 He begins to explain who his hero is. His hero is himself ten years from now. Before you scoff and think he is being ridiculously arrogant, think about it. If you are always striving to be the best version of yourself, you will always grow. Always change. Always increase.

THAT is who I want to be. (No, not Matthew McConaughey. I don't have the time to fix his hair everyday) I want to be the best version of myself that I can be.

While I know perfection isn't possible in this world, and getting even somewhat close is something you have to fight hard for... I say that it is worth the fight.

*Here is to turning 30 on thursday and being totally happy about it :) .... cheers*

trotting next to the wagon

Alright! Time for me to confess.... when I quit my whole30, I told myself "I'll take a few days off and then jump right back on! Yeah!".... people, I'm still trotting along side the Waggon, but I ain't on it yet. :/ ...ugh. it's hard. Things keep coming up and y'all, the "bad foods" are soooooo good! I thought I could get my few cravings out in a few days, but I think what I'm learning is that life is one big craving. Coffee with a friend, dinner out because I didn't feel like grocery shopping, cupcakes, cookies etc. (At least for me anyways)

My brain wants to get back on the whole30 eating... every time I think about whole30, (at least 4 times a day) my brain says "not whole30, whole60" (like I'm some programmed robot or something... seriously, does anyone else have a ocd/over achiever brain like this? I think people take medication for stuff like this :( ) so I've been thinking..... 30 25 days gave me good success. 60 days would be even better...more commitment, more forced creativity when it comes to recipes and meal plans, but it should be worth it, right? The hardest part is getting my feet on the floor and declaring day 1!

If you're tired of hearing me talk about whole 30... I kind of am too, to be honest. If I'm every with you and I start going all food police or turn into one of those people who (vegans come to mind, though not all are like this. I know some pretty cool ones) not only tell you that they are on a special diet, but why they are on this special plan, how they manage it and why YOU should do it too. They'll even give you books to read our invite you over to prove their lettuce tofu "burger" is the best....and you're just left there trying not to be rude, but really wanting to finish your taco........... just stop me if you don't want to hear it and want to enjoy your food in peace. I don't want to be one of those crazies and not realize it. Right now, I'm at a point where I'm really learning new things and I see progress in ways I didn't expect.(I've done weight loss stuff for years y'all... tried everything) I'm absorbing, experimenting and analyzing and it is a bit of an obsession for me.

60 days will be good and give me a jump before summer. One more confession... I've always wanted a nose ring. But I've never been truly confident to get one. I guess it's my artsy side? No matter what diet/weight loss plan I started in my life time, if I got down to 250, my "reward" was to finally get it done... of course, I never planned it would take me this long to get even close to it. I will be turning 30 next month. I have 2 kids and married... I still really like the tiny stud, but I'm kind of a chicken lol am I too old now?

Whole30

I didn't really mention this whole30 business to anyone other than family in the last week. I didn't feel like making it public until I figured things out a little. (Excuse me for breaking my "dieting naked" rule.) If you follow me on instagram (sparkle0811) you may have figured it out by now.

Basically, super duper strict to the max on food choices for 30 days. (Read more about it at WWW.whole.com) no wheat, no soy, no dairy, and no sugar... also no legumes, but that doesn't really affect my daily habits. Just eat veggies, fruits and meats.

This week has been.... how can I put it? Strange?.... I've gone from pumped and excited to ready to curl up in a ball and sob to myself... then to ready to kill everything, angry, sad, and then theres today where... eh. Its whatever. Kind of no opinions on anything really. I used to think I ate fairly healthy. I'm not going to lie... I know it wasn't perfect, but it wasn't terrible. This week has proven many things to me. I was totally, absolutely without a doubt hard addicted to sugar. And I'm a diabetic. That's not good. 

I feel OK about it now. If you were to offer me a cupcake or a bowl of ice cream I could say no thank you and be perfectly fine. I'm not sure if that's the sugar addiction gone from my body or the fact that most of the last week has been really tough and I can't let that suffering be for nothing lol

30 days. Its only 30 days.

I also weighed the other day. *gasp* I broke a big Whole30 rule. They say not to weigh because the focus is on health not weight loss... blah blah blah. I've lost some weight and that is a good motivator for me. I can tell things are moving in the right direction. I will do an update post in a few weeks. Until then.. I'm going to keep my weight loss numbers to myself... because I'm sneaky and I can! ;)

Stress and Heart Issues :(

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. Life gets busy and you do what you gotta do to get through it!

Every time I sit down to write, I go over in my head the reason I actually started writing this blog in the first place. Because I wanted to be honest with myself and my family and friends as I travel through this journey towards health. I also want to be encouraging as well as educational to anyone who happens to stumble upon my blog in search of their own answers.

So, here is the thing. The honest truth. I struggle with anxiety. a lot of it. Sometimes seriously bad, sometimes not so bad. Its been off and on for a good part of my life. I have serious OCD tendencies in areas of my life (in other areas, not so much. weird, right?). When my 4 year old gets mad because she can't do something PERFECT, I can't get upset with her because I know exactly which side of the gene pool that character trait falls from. Yep, yours truly here! :/

This past week I had a few spells where my heart rate spiked up to 145 beats per minute. Most people stay around 100 bpm and only go up with exercise. Mine happened when I was doing nothing. I felt my heart beating out of my chest and got really weak, shortness of breath and shakey hands. It was horrible and left me drained for a good several hours afterwards.

Of course I called my doctor and I was actually able to get into a cardiologist yesterday. He put me on a monitor device for 48 hours. I have to return it Monday and then he'll get the results off it. He changed up my current medications. I still have some testing to do after we get the results from this device I'm wearing, but it doesn't look like it is anything serious right now.(Thank you, Jesus) He said the episodes could be due mostly to stress and it just sometimes happens to people. I could grow out of it in a few years. *fingers crossed it actually is nothing*

Anyways, through all this I've had a pretty severe wake-up call that I need to chill-the-heck-out. Over the last few days, I've tried to keep my mood mellow and relaxed. One of the areas that is getting nixed in my stress list is my scale. I know I weigh on it too often (sometimes 3 times a day, just out of curiosity) but I was under the belief that it helped keep me accountable. 'obviously if I do A + B = I should get C, right?' (FYI, In weight loss, this theory can be totally bogus sometimes) When I don't get the results I'm hoping for, I over analyze and it becomes an obsession down to every single detail of my day... Its been recently pointed out that this behavior/ me... is.... "crazy". (um thanks... mom) 

So, being determined to lessen the stress, I tucked my scale away for a while. NO more weighing and no real way (numbers) to track my progress by. I don't plan on weighing for a whole month. My Disney World weight loss goals are going to wait. Right now, I need to focus on eating healthy, clean meals and NOT obsessing over every detail. The doctor said I could keep exercising because it actually helps to strengthen the heart. (This was the one time in my life I thought I would have a legit excuse to NOT exercise lol) I plan on continuing my alternating days of treadmill and strength training. If nothing else, my endurance and muscles should progress over the next month whether my weight changes or not. And with that, I may not be skinnier for Disney, but I won't die walking the parks all day for a week either.

I'll keep updating as I learn more on my heart and trying to transition into a less stress/OCD lifestyle. 

God please help me... I'm not sure that I know how to NOT stress.

Day 5 and water intake

I think today is day 4 of my Disney inspired weight control and fitness challenge. Or whatever you want to call it. I don't want to miss out on Disney because I'm out of shape. Got it? Oh and I set a goal of losing 22 pounds before going there in November too.

I've exercised for 5 days in a row now. I'm feeling pretty excited about that. I have been careful with my calories too and tracking everything. Today wasn't my best day of eating, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I only went over my calories by like 150 I think. I needed a popsicle, ok??

I did only get 3600 steps in. Let me tell you, when you're at home all day, getting up and getting enough moving in is such a hard thing to do.

I'll report my weight loss in a few more days. Right now I'm doing the treadmill 3days a week and doing a weight/strength training routine on opposite days 3days a week. I can't tell you how forward I'm looking to Sunday. Sunday is my day I've chosen to rest..... blah, I'm sure you don't want to hear me go on about this....

My goal with water is to drink @ least 80oz per day! I shoot for 100oz though. If you don't keep up with it, its a seriously difficult thing to do! Did you know you should aim to drink half your body weight in water per day? Holy cow, right?!? Yeah. That's a lot. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm making progress. A tip I read is to NOT just "sip" on water all day long. When you take a drink of water, guzzle 10 sips instead of just 1. Can't do that? Try 8 or whatever you can do. It really helps to get that water in and flush the excess junk out of your body...... sure, you'll have to pee like crazy..... a lot, but that's extra steps, right?? :D .... there is a silver lining in everything, my friends!! Even countless pee breaks to the bathroom! 

I'm looking forward to finishing out this week strong :) I'll post my progress in a few days. (Shhh....But if you look at the tracker gadget. at the bottom of the page, you'll see I've already lost a solid pound! Woo!)

Back to juicing

If I had written this post a few days ago when I had really wanted to (but couldn't find the time) it would have said something totally different.

Since getting off juicing... my "diet" plan has consisted of no limitations and no real structure. I haven't gone and eaten fried chicken and pigged out till I hated myself, but I haven't been watching and calculating calories or anything either. I feel like I've just been in limbo and I honestly hate it. I hate not moving towards my goal.... not moving at all.

My scale has gone up just a few pounds but its more than likely some water weight mixed with just junk from eating unhealthy lately. I just can't seem to get the kick in the pants I need to get motivated to do better. And then I get depressed.... its an awful feeling to be the only one who can help yourself and her you can't seem to do it

Until yesterday.... yesterday, I felt like I finally had my life settled enough to put the focus back on my health. It mostly came with the revelation that we have scheduled a family vacation to Disney world in November. I'm beyond excited... I mean, into another dimension of excitement that I just have no words for! I can't wait to see the look on my kid's faces when they experience the magic that only Disney can create.... did I mention I'm just a tad excited?

What I realized yesterday is I have about 3 months till our trip. The trip that we've been planning for a year is only 3 months away... 3 months! I'll have November weather on my side, so I won't die in the heat, but honestly, if I were to go today... I'm not in good shape. Let's just leave it at that.

And so, 3 months... that's my next goal. I want to be in the best possible shape for Disney that I can be.

Tomorrow I'm going to the grocery store and I'm going back to juicing. I have lots of cooking ideas for fresh veggies so I can get some 'real' food in my diet too. I've recently discovered an unknown love for zucchini. Healthy food. Healthy mindset. Healthy body.

Juicing day 11

I hate to say this, but I'm going to have to call it quits for a bit on the juicing. I've loved the way I feel while juicing, I've loved the clear thinking I've been able to do, the lower blood sugar numbers I've been seeing by not eating processed carbs, and most certainly the weight loss I've seen. Its been quite an experience... but ... (ugh... I can't believe I'm typing this right now...) I can't take the diarrhea anymore! It makes sense, juice in, juice out! I've researched the internet and the green dense juices (what I eat most of the time) has this effect on some people.... I have a life that doesn't allow for constant bathroom emergencies!

I had a stomach bug last week that I thought was mostly to blame... yet my stomach bug is gone and its still here!... the last week or so I've veered off the 100% juicing ways and did maybe 75% juicing and 25% whatever real food that was relatively healthy/clean. I thought it would be enough food to help slow things down. Not so. Not enough. :(

I know this is gross... so its with some sadness that I end my juicing fast while my shorts are still clean!

I've learned a lot and I definitely plan to do it again... just for a shorter period of time :) maybe 3 day fast every 2 weeks or something? I'm still planning it out... right now, I just have to eat something un-juiced....

(Again, my apologies if this was too much information and more than you wanted to know!!)

Juicing for 5 days - A Review

So, I was driving earlier today (drinking a yummy glass of juice!) and I counted up how many days I've been juicing... holy cow! Today is Day 5! WOOHOO! Its already been 5 days! I did the 5 days with minimal veering off the juicing path. Just the other day for 1 meal... then I got back on. I have had a few minor slipups, but I'm trying to listen to my body too. If I'm hungry now and I can't quench the hunger with juice, I've eaten a few fruits and veggies unjuiced too. I figure its better to eat a bit now of the good stuff rather than catch myself after a weak moment in the kitchen alone staring at an empty bowl of..... everything lol

I'm still looking to see what the scale says tomorrow morning after juicing for one more day before I call it final, but I've lost 5 pounds so far. 271 (my scale had gone up some since my lowest. boo.) But I'm back to losing!

I tried to get a good variety of fruits and veggies in my juices, try new things, keep an open mind... Y'all, I'm a failure at beets! :( Remember I said they came wrapped in bundles of 3? yeah, I made it through 2 whole beets and the 3rd one I just couldn't do. 1 poor beet, wasted. It has a funky after taste and it stains absolutely EVERYTHING it touches. After several days of trying new things and being open minded... I just am not down with the beet! (haha)

I mentioned in my last post about the water weight loss and seeing my ankle bones again.... still yay for skinny feet!

Another change I've noticed is my energy. I've felt really good this whole time. (minus the almost Sasquatch like hunger spells a few times) 

Last night after putting the kids to bed I decided to deep clean and reorganize my kitchen. I worked like 2.5 hours... (its a big kitchen). Granite counter tops now sparkle... I organized drawers and cabinets to be more efficient. I've been wanting to do it for a long time but never could get the proper motivation. check check, consider it done! And I'm totally counting it as exercise because I was working up a sweat dancing while doing it.

Its a really weird feeling to explain, but my gut feels... good? Like, I feel... clean. light. hollow, but not in a hungry way. I've heard people talk about feeling "better" when they eat healthy. I used to eat relatively healthy before I juiced but not really consistently. I never noticed a different feeling in me before. Maybe I wasn't in the experimental mode like I am now and really trying to be receptive to whats I feel like my needs are (not wants. i.e. a cookie). I feel quicker, more energy.... its a good feeling. And I can now see why this feeling is addicting for some people.

My blood sugar levels have also been so great. Maybe thats partly to blame for the general 'good feeling' I've been having. Less ups and downs and steady numbers mean less mood swings and foggy feelings.

I don't miss meat... but I'm not a huge meat fan anyways, because of my TMJ issues. (thats a whole different story for a different day) So its kind unfair for me to say that I could turn my head and never look back on meat after juicing.

So... plus plus plus... all good things to say about this juicing experiment of mine. The only negative or downside that I can find is... going out and being with other people. "You're doing what?" that is usually followed by "why? I could never do that!" Its tough to explain... at least quickly... its kind of a long story. I've been very lucky to have the full support of my family and friends. But I understand restaurants are going to be a difficult hurdle.

Right now, I don't know that I have the willpower to go a full 60 days (though, I kind of would like to try it??), but I don't want to stop either. So my plan (if you can even call it that) is to keep going with this. Its definitely good for me and I feel like this is very limited and easy for me to control.... sooooo.... lets go another 10 days! We'll continue the experiment and see what happens! :)

Juicing, day 3 update

I've been juicing and doing great.... hungry, but great. My blood sugar levels have been phenomenal! I feel like I have a good amount of energy despite the rumbles coming from my tummy occasionally.

Tummy: " me needs food"
Me: " nope you just had juice"
Tummy: "me needs cookie! ( in the choice of the cookie monster)
me: "no! I just fed you!"
Tummy: "just a bite?"
Me: *sigh* I thought we were together on this??

I'm just adjusting to planning ahead too.
I've seen some really good changes in my body too... a few pounds of weight loss but I'm going to wait a few more days to see if if sticks. I do notice water retention is down. I tend to hold water weight in my feet off and on... so I have skinny pretty feet again! Yay!

After 3 days of doing really good.... I fell off the wagon tonight. :/ I was so hungry and just craving real food. I went to dinner with my best friend. I got 6 grilled shrimp, no rice, double grilled veggies.... and water. And it was fantastic! There was a bit of oil on the veggies.... that's the only thing I can feel guilty about though. I'm going back to juicing tomorrow. I feel satisfied and not deprived. Please don't hate me for being weak!

Slight mis calculation on the amount of veggies a though. Need to go to the store tomorrow again. Still have some left but I really can't see myself just drinking celery and romaine  :/ also, not a huge fan of beets. They're OK but they stain everything they touch and (FYI TMI) My pee was neon red. Scared the heck out of me. Lol I'm used to spinach having a color effect too but it never occurred to me that the beet would.... never crossed my mind. I'm also not a fan of juiced ginger. I like them in the snap variety. (Aka Ginger snaps) men, learning experience I guess. I'll still finish using the beets and ginger tomorrow.

My favorite thing so far... adding oranges in my mean green juice! So good! And lemons too!

That's really all I have tonight. I'll post my weight loss numbers and any other discoveries in a few days!

Good night!

Hungry for Change... again!

So, in my last post.... (if you couldn't tell) I was way totally bummed after my doctor's visit on Monday. Like I was sobbing on the way home. I had such high hopes that my new doctor was going to be able to point her magic doctor pen and say, "Here! this is what you can do and you'll be fixed!" and then all would be good in the world. 

Sounds a bit silly when I think about it now. I don't know. I'm trying my best not to throw a pity party because I have much to be thankful for, but I just didn't think I'd really run out of options so quickly. Its time to start taking things into my own hands and see if I can fix this on my own.

A while back I wrote a blog on a documentary I saw about Hungry for Change. I love my juicer. I don't use it every day but at least a 4 times a week right now. I sat down last night and I watched another documentary. Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead. Basically, guy has medical issues, maxed out on his meds.... decides to go on a crazy 60 day nothing but juice fast. He loses a crazy amount of weight and gets taken off of all his medications, gains extreme health and learns to continue to eat healthy afterwards. If you get the chance, watch it. (Its on netflix) It's amazing what the body can do when given the proper nutrition. I 'll put a youtube link at the bottom with a short trailer to his film.

(I can see some of you shaking your heads right now) .... Just Chill. I'm just thinking of trying it for 5 days. After those 5 days I'll see where I stand and make a plan from there. I'll either continue to 10 days or quit. And move on from there. What have I got to lose? I think it'll be a good amount of time to see if I'm able to tolerate it.

I want to share this with you...

TaDa! It's my groceries for the week! (at least I think it is... I may have miscalculated some? We shall see!) It can get expensive. I always buy a mix of organic and non organic produce, when I shop. For those that are curious, (and for my own knowledge) I totaled up my grocery bill on produce from thsi trip... $38.39. Not too terrible in my opinion. There is celery, oranges, carrots, cucumber, apples - green and braeburn, lemons, romaine, spinach/kale mix, blue berries and pineapple, ginger....

Aaaaand this.....

Y'all....... I bought beets. Apparently you can't just buy 1 beet. To move them off the shelf faster, they only sell them in bundles of 3? Never in my life have I been walking through the grocery store, passed the beets and went "mmmm lunch!". But while I was standing there second guessing my decision and if I wanted to possibly waste my money.... A quote popped into my head. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got. Not sure who said it originally, AND I'm pretty sure he wasn't referring to any form of beets, but ... It was what I needed to hear so I bought the beets! Embracing the change! In with the new!

I didn't go full on juice today because we were having a BBQ lunch at work today. (I know its a sorry excuse, but I love BBQ!) I did have a mean green juice this morning and another juice this afternoon. By the way, Beets: not half bad. Terrible on their own, but when mixed with other juices... tolerable.

I was contemplating pushing my full time juice fast off till Saturday because I'm taking the kids to the movies tomorrow and I love popcorn. Then it hit me. As if God stuck a huge note on my forehead that simply said "nope." There isn't ever going to be a perfect time to start. Its now or never. So tomorrow it is! I'll be sipping on water!

Its not hard to drink juice. I like juice... the hard part is going to be willpower to not eat EVERYTHING else. I know I'm going to be doing a lot of praying and relying on God to give me the willpower to complete this.

Anyways, I can't totally tell if I'm super excited about this yet or not. Whats the worst that can happen right? It certainly can't be any worse than what I'm dealing with right now surviving on pills every day. Also, I have no objections to ending my fast early if I don't feel right.... Its just more or less an experiment to see what my body can do when given the right super foods. I probably won't post every day, but I'll be back to update on how things are going... :) Wish me luck!