Girl Got Guts

So I did a grown up thing today. I made a decision to do something and then I did it. Thats me having "guts".

Never in a million years would my 400 pound self have imagined I'd ACTUALLY weigh 260 pounds. Thats a loss of 140 pounds... like... a whole person... My vision of what is actually possible in life has completely transformed. More so this past year than ever before. I don't laugh at dreaming about one day seeing a 1 in front of my weight on the scale. I know it'll happen, just like I know next Tuesday will happen.

This post was where I revealed my tiny little secret about my biggest weight loss goal. I have felt so driven lately. So light and strong at the same time. (If I talk about this in person with you, I promise you... I will tear up.) Its been such an emotional enlightenment to see just how capable we are to overcome the obstacles we face in life.

Today's post is about rocking being strong and awesome. I've wanted to get my nose pierced. I told myself I would wait until I hit 250 pounds. That would be my reward. I found myself in one of 2 moods regarding my feelings on this. Either 1) pumped and encouraged OR 2) frustrated because I was tired of waiting. (ok mostly #2) It hit me the other day that the reason for getting to 250 pounds had nothing to do with giving myself permission to get a nose ring. 250 pounds was about continuing to make myself healthy. *ding* I became a bit more of an adult. If I got the nose ring, it wouldn't change or stop my desire to keep pursuing weight loss. It would still hold the same meaning for me. "Every time I look in the mirror I will see a warrior, battle scars and all who has fought. A girl who has fallen down 1,000 times and lost her way and stood back up 1,001 times. A solid in your face (literally.. haha) reminder that as average human beings... we can accomplish AMAZING things if we refuse to accept failure as an option."

Losing another 10 pounds isn't going to suddenly wave a fairy wand above me and deem me "a success". Success comes in tiny seconds all throughout the day, not numbers on the scale. Victory is in the 3-4 times a week I ignore all the rest of things in life and go walking outside in this ridiculous August heat in Texas. Success is losing 1 pound.... 140 stupid times! (I swear its 140 pounds of nothing but sweat and tears that have been shed.) Success is choosing to eat healthy and not beating myself up when I decide to indulge a bit... after all, if I can't eat an enchilada or a cupcake every once in a while being skinny just ain't worth it for me, y'all. Success is continuing to see myself as beautiful and strong instead of a failure.

And so I did it. I quit waiting for blank more pounds to lose and I chose to celebrate TODAY.

Don't count me out of this fight though. I'm not done. Not anywhere NEAR done.... I'm just choosing to show my sparkle a bit more everyday.

Another little victory for me happened this past weekend. My mom and I went shopping. My kids are finally out of that spill everything on mommy and this-is-why-mommy-can't-have-nice-things stage (...just watch one of them spill something on me tonight at dinner JUST because the universe heard me say that) I've also been losing weight in my middle *cue angels singing* and a lot of my nicer clothes are getting kind of baggy.... so we decided to have a few girly hours! We scored some amazing deals, but the main victory of the day came in me being happy to see myself in a dressing room mirror. Thats seriously never really happened before. I might just understand why other women like fashion so much.... maybe..... sort of?.... I'm not sure yet. We'll see.... whatever, I look cuuuuuuute ;)

Celebrate the little things! Wear your pearls on a Wednesday and (if you're coordinated enough to wear them in the first place) wear your heels to dance in the kitchen.

Sorry Not sorry if this post is all rainbows and happy smiles.... its been a good day today. :)