Progress & Photos

I wanted to re-visit the reason I actually keep a blog on my struggles and triumphs in weight loss. Its not because I think someone actually really cares what I do every day or you actually care how much I weigh or what I'm eating. I know my closest friends and family love me no matter what.

I'm in a good place mentally right now. That may change by next week, but right now I'm going to roll with it.

I write this blog to keep myself accountable. This post is really what started my mindset on accountability. "Dieting Naked" means that instead of unspoken promises to yourself to be "good" tomorrow and then eat a bowl of ice cream right before bed, you announce your intentions. You unveil yourself, diet in plain sight without shame. 

I'm now accountable to you. You know my intentions. You will know the deepest desires of my heart and you have my compete permission to slap me on the wrist if you see me behaving otherwise. Thats why I pour my heart out in these corners of the internet. No more secret deals with myself that I break when the first hard day comes up. No more promises in the dark that I forsake in the daylight when confronted with an Oreo package. No more. Because I can't fathom doing this on my own. The struggle is so... so real. "diet in plain sight without shame". NONE, peoples. I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit that I struggle. Like, fall off the wagon with your face flat in the mud with your shoelace caught on the wheel so you get drug for a while and can't get up, kind of struggle.

And when I fall (which I have countless times) ... I know admitting it and sharing my story is ok. I'm not perfect.

This was today's fitbit readings... see all that green?? Not a discouraging day, here! I met each and every one of my goals. That doesn't happen every day, but I have to pat myself on the back when it does happen. I did have to go take a 30 minute walk around the neighborhood this evening to get it done... but *newsflash* I kind of really actually enjoyed it.... go figure.

I did some calculations in my head tonight of how much weight I've actually lost from my heaviest. Give or take because I don't remember what my highest weight recorded was. It was somewhere around 400 pounds. So from 400 pounds, I've lost 133 pounds. That is a % loss of 33.75%. (holy cow!)

I see numbers like that and while I still have a long ways to go.... I don't feel quite so defeated anymore.... in fact, I feel quite the opposite. 

I haven't done any photo comparisons in a while... So lets keep this good juice flowing! 

These pictures were from 2007. Just over 2 years after I had surgery for a pituitary tumor that caused Cushing's Disease and all but destroyed my body. I might have already lost a little weight by this point due to wedding craziness and dreams, but not very much.  Fast forward.....

And then there is the "today" photos... still not done with weight loss. not quite an "after"... but progress is being made, right? * .....side note: the humidity is killing my hair today :(  

*For my hubby, who I'm not so sure liked being blurred out of our wedding photo... sorry. You know I love you oh-so-much! You are my rock and my solid supporter through everything I've been through health wise and otherwise. I couldn't make it without you. Thank you for everything.

Whole30!... Well Almost :/

So, This was going to be my Whole30 wrap up post.... only.... its more like Whole25 :/ I will come right out and admit that I did NOT make the whole 30 days.

Last Friday, I had a ton of things going on, and I was upset. I was tired and I had to sit through a pretty lame birthday party for one of my kid's friends and ...yeah. It all ended while I was in the car on the way home from the party and realized that a fun size snickers (yes, I stole it from my kids party bags) was halfway down my throat and gone. It was pretty anticlimactic. I actually didn't get upset or anything.... just kind of a.... 'well, darn' feeling more than anything else. I think I didn't really get upset because I've had so much (and I mean so much!) success with this way of eating over the past few weeks that I had already made up my mind to finish my whole30 (oops) and then take a week or so off and do another 30.... or whatever.

But lets go back to my Whole30 25. I'm really excited to be able to share what I've learned. First off, before I eliminated sugar from my diet, I could have told you that I wasn't really that addicted to sugar. huh, boy did I eat those words. By day 5, I was such a mad, frustrated, sad... crazy person. Sugar withdrwals are no fun. When I had a dream about bread loaves and donuts chasing me down the street.... I knew I had it pretty bad. But with the help of my mom cheering me on and listening to me weep over how much I thought I wasn't addicted to food, I pushed through and came out of the dark cloud around day 8. 

It still really took a while before I discovered the amazing feeling I kept hearing people talk about. My energy picked up around day 14-15 and kept getting better from there. I felt like I was in a really good mood... I'm in a pretty good mood most of the time really, but my mind felt clear and alert. It was great.

I seriously don't regret any of my whole30 experience. Its one of the most eye opening experiences I've ever had in my life. I don't have any food cravings anymore. (Don't take this the wrong way, there is still a chubby little kid inside me that wants to sit around and eat cupcakes all day... I don't think she will never leave) I don't crave the bad stuff. I'm ok with having a whole plate of Brussels sprouts for dinner (and did so on multiple occasions) I found new foods that I love! and new recipes that are now my list of favorites.

The one thing that I think made the biggest impression on me is that I found FREEDOM..... freedom from food. freedom from cravings. Freedom to 'eat to live' and not 'live to eat' anymore. I figured out that I can eat healthy and be happy about it (not, just eat your lettuce and be sad all the time).

Ok so blah blah blah... these are great life lessons and all, but what about the numbers?? Come on, lets get to the good stuff, right? ... I am a little ashamed to say that I started this journey with the scale on a number I was really not happy about. Shoot, I didn't even want to tell you, but..... 284 pounds. YUCK.... However, I finished my 25 days with my lowest weight since before I can remember..... 266 pounds!! (for the non mathematical people...) That is 18 pounds!!!! Say what what?? Can you feel my giant successful smile through these words I'm writing right now.

Yes, I'm so thrilled to be so much healthier than I was a few weeks ago and not just in weight loss numbers. My blood sugars are now in such good shape that I quit taking my insulin and am now just on oral meds (By the way, I'm ridiculously careful with my numbers and measuring and testing and tracking. I don't recommend going off your insulin or any medication, without first consulting your doctor) Also, my blood pressure has dropped. I'm hoping to back off of a little on that medication soon too. So...... in conclusion, good things all around and I am more than happy that I decided to embark on this (seemingly ridiculous) whole30 journey!!

So this weekend has been my 'off' time. I've enjoyed a few little treats. I made delicious peanut butter cookies today. They were glorious... I've enjoyed like 10 of them today :/ Holy cow, peanut butter perfection. really..... but life just needs cookies sometimes. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm getting back in the whole30 lifestyle again. I had tremendous results and I'm not ready to quit yet. :)

The Photo Post

I've had a couple people ask if I've thought about putting together one of those "Before/After" weight loss photos. I'll be honest in saying there really isn't a whole lot of photos of me from when I was at my heaviest weight. (If you happen to find one its because I overlooked it when I was destroying all the others.)

I sifted through the files deep in my computer from a long long time ago and found a few though. Sooooo... Quick timeline....

I had surgery to remove a nasty pituitary tumor December 2005. The weight didn't come off right away... In fact, it got worse and I think my weight topped out around end of summer 2006. I don't know what my exact highest weight was, because at some point I just stopped looking at the numbers. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I know weighed at least 375 pounds.

So... here it is. Before/After.... (pardon the pony tail in the 'after'. Houston weather is not kind to my hair!)


On a side note... I have to add... I miss my pink hair from college... lol its hard to be a grown up some days!

Anyways, I still don't feel like I'm ready for my "after" shot photo. So this is my after for now.... I'm not done yet. I have the road ahead of me... and I'll get there one day!