Stress and Heart Issues :(

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. Life gets busy and you do what you gotta do to get through it!

Every time I sit down to write, I go over in my head the reason I actually started writing this blog in the first place. Because I wanted to be honest with myself and my family and friends as I travel through this journey towards health. I also want to be encouraging as well as educational to anyone who happens to stumble upon my blog in search of their own answers.

So, here is the thing. The honest truth. I struggle with anxiety. a lot of it. Sometimes seriously bad, sometimes not so bad. Its been off and on for a good part of my life. I have serious OCD tendencies in areas of my life (in other areas, not so much. weird, right?). When my 4 year old gets mad because she can't do something PERFECT, I can't get upset with her because I know exactly which side of the gene pool that character trait falls from. Yep, yours truly here! :/

This past week I had a few spells where my heart rate spiked up to 145 beats per minute. Most people stay around 100 bpm and only go up with exercise. Mine happened when I was doing nothing. I felt my heart beating out of my chest and got really weak, shortness of breath and shakey hands. It was horrible and left me drained for a good several hours afterwards.

Of course I called my doctor and I was actually able to get into a cardiologist yesterday. He put me on a monitor device for 48 hours. I have to return it Monday and then he'll get the results off it. He changed up my current medications. I still have some testing to do after we get the results from this device I'm wearing, but it doesn't look like it is anything serious right now.(Thank you, Jesus) He said the episodes could be due mostly to stress and it just sometimes happens to people. I could grow out of it in a few years. *fingers crossed it actually is nothing*

Anyways, through all this I've had a pretty severe wake-up call that I need to chill-the-heck-out. Over the last few days, I've tried to keep my mood mellow and relaxed. One of the areas that is getting nixed in my stress list is my scale. I know I weigh on it too often (sometimes 3 times a day, just out of curiosity) but I was under the belief that it helped keep me accountable. 'obviously if I do A + B = I should get C, right?' (FYI, In weight loss, this theory can be totally bogus sometimes) When I don't get the results I'm hoping for, I over analyze and it becomes an obsession down to every single detail of my day... Its been recently pointed out that this behavior/ me... is.... "crazy". (um thanks... mom) 

So, being determined to lessen the stress, I tucked my scale away for a while. NO more weighing and no real way (numbers) to track my progress by. I don't plan on weighing for a whole month. My Disney World weight loss goals are going to wait. Right now, I need to focus on eating healthy, clean meals and NOT obsessing over every detail. The doctor said I could keep exercising because it actually helps to strengthen the heart. (This was the one time in my life I thought I would have a legit excuse to NOT exercise lol) I plan on continuing my alternating days of treadmill and strength training. If nothing else, my endurance and muscles should progress over the next month whether my weight changes or not. And with that, I may not be skinnier for Disney, but I won't die walking the parks all day for a week either.

I'll keep updating as I learn more on my heart and trying to transition into a less stress/OCD lifestyle. 

God please help me... I'm not sure that I know how to NOT stress.

Week1 Down

So I completed week 1 of my 3 months till Disney World challenge.  I lost 1 pound. 1 :( I can't say I'm not just a little disappointed. I felt like I suffered a bit more than 1 tiny pound. But its still better than nothing so, I'll take it and try to be happy with it darn it!

The week wasn't incredibly difficult but I did run into a few moments where my willpower was tested. I did my strength training work outs and I did my treadmill time. Very proud of myself for that! 

This week should be pretty good except that tomorrow for lunch at work.... mexican. If ever I had a kryptonite, mexican food is it. Love love love love it and will never get tired of it! Oh and I'm making the cupcakes. yikes. I've learned how to say no to cupcakes pretty easy because I make so many of them its not really a rare treat around my house. (I make them for other people, fyi) Tomorrow will be about small portions and enjoying in moderation.

Right now, I'm counting calories and doing my best to keep it clean and healthy foods. Do you ever just get in a rut where nothing sounds good anymore? I like to think I'm a pretty good cook. I don't burn things often or mix things that go terrible together. Lately I just don't feel like cooking. Maybe its the summer months? Maybe its just being lazy.... yeah, probably the last one. *kick in the butt* I made a meal plan this week for dinners and went grocery shopping this morning and everything. I had the "My hubby is back home from working out of town and I'm going to be a good wife and make a healthy delicious dinner!" kind of attitude.... this morning, that is. By the evening, he got called to work late and I fixed the kids a hot dog and I ate a bowl of cereal with unsweetened almond milk. (If you haven't tried it, you should!) yep, winner wife and mommy right here. Its definately a Monday kind of day!

I need these images imprinted on the front of my brain today and everyday until I reach my healthy weight!

 

Do you have any special quotes or people who inspire you when you're working towards a goal? (weight loss related or not!)

Have a good week, friends :)

Day 5 and water intake

I think today is day 4 of my Disney inspired weight control and fitness challenge. Or whatever you want to call it. I don't want to miss out on Disney because I'm out of shape. Got it? Oh and I set a goal of losing 22 pounds before going there in November too.

I've exercised for 5 days in a row now. I'm feeling pretty excited about that. I have been careful with my calories too and tracking everything. Today wasn't my best day of eating, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I only went over my calories by like 150 I think. I needed a popsicle, ok??

I did only get 3600 steps in. Let me tell you, when you're at home all day, getting up and getting enough moving in is such a hard thing to do.

I'll report my weight loss in a few more days. Right now I'm doing the treadmill 3days a week and doing a weight/strength training routine on opposite days 3days a week. I can't tell you how forward I'm looking to Sunday. Sunday is my day I've chosen to rest..... blah, I'm sure you don't want to hear me go on about this....

My goal with water is to drink @ least 80oz per day! I shoot for 100oz though. If you don't keep up with it, its a seriously difficult thing to do! Did you know you should aim to drink half your body weight in water per day? Holy cow, right?!? Yeah. That's a lot. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm making progress. A tip I read is to NOT just "sip" on water all day long. When you take a drink of water, guzzle 10 sips instead of just 1. Can't do that? Try 8 or whatever you can do. It really helps to get that water in and flush the excess junk out of your body...... sure, you'll have to pee like crazy..... a lot, but that's extra steps, right?? :D .... there is a silver lining in everything, my friends!! Even countless pee breaks to the bathroom! 

I'm looking forward to finishing out this week strong :) I'll post my progress in a few days. (Shhh....But if you look at the tracker gadget. at the bottom of the page, you'll see I've already lost a solid pound! Woo!)

Back to juicing

If I had written this post a few days ago when I had really wanted to (but couldn't find the time) it would have said something totally different.

Since getting off juicing... my "diet" plan has consisted of no limitations and no real structure. I haven't gone and eaten fried chicken and pigged out till I hated myself, but I haven't been watching and calculating calories or anything either. I feel like I've just been in limbo and I honestly hate it. I hate not moving towards my goal.... not moving at all.

My scale has gone up just a few pounds but its more than likely some water weight mixed with just junk from eating unhealthy lately. I just can't seem to get the kick in the pants I need to get motivated to do better. And then I get depressed.... its an awful feeling to be the only one who can help yourself and her you can't seem to do it

Until yesterday.... yesterday, I felt like I finally had my life settled enough to put the focus back on my health. It mostly came with the revelation that we have scheduled a family vacation to Disney world in November. I'm beyond excited... I mean, into another dimension of excitement that I just have no words for! I can't wait to see the look on my kid's faces when they experience the magic that only Disney can create.... did I mention I'm just a tad excited?

What I realized yesterday is I have about 3 months till our trip. The trip that we've been planning for a year is only 3 months away... 3 months! I'll have November weather on my side, so I won't die in the heat, but honestly, if I were to go today... I'm not in good shape. Let's just leave it at that.

And so, 3 months... that's my next goal. I want to be in the best possible shape for Disney that I can be.

Tomorrow I'm going to the grocery store and I'm going back to juicing. I have lots of cooking ideas for fresh veggies so I can get some 'real' food in my diet too. I've recently discovered an unknown love for zucchini. Healthy food. Healthy mindset. Healthy body.