trotting next to the wagon

Alright! Time for me to confess.... when I quit my whole30, I told myself "I'll take a few days off and then jump right back on! Yeah!".... people, I'm still trotting along side the Waggon, but I ain't on it yet. :/ ...ugh. it's hard. Things keep coming up and y'all, the "bad foods" are soooooo good! I thought I could get my few cravings out in a few days, but I think what I'm learning is that life is one big craving. Coffee with a friend, dinner out because I didn't feel like grocery shopping, cupcakes, cookies etc. (At least for me anyways)

My brain wants to get back on the whole30 eating... every time I think about whole30, (at least 4 times a day) my brain says "not whole30, whole60" (like I'm some programmed robot or something... seriously, does anyone else have a ocd/over achiever brain like this? I think people take medication for stuff like this :( ) so I've been thinking..... 30 25 days gave me good success. 60 days would be even better...more commitment, more forced creativity when it comes to recipes and meal plans, but it should be worth it, right? The hardest part is getting my feet on the floor and declaring day 1!

If you're tired of hearing me talk about whole 30... I kind of am too, to be honest. If I'm every with you and I start going all food police or turn into one of those people who (vegans come to mind, though not all are like this. I know some pretty cool ones) not only tell you that they are on a special diet, but why they are on this special plan, how they manage it and why YOU should do it too. They'll even give you books to read our invite you over to prove their lettuce tofu "burger" is the best....and you're just left there trying not to be rude, but really wanting to finish your taco........... just stop me if you don't want to hear it and want to enjoy your food in peace. I don't want to be one of those crazies and not realize it. Right now, I'm at a point where I'm really learning new things and I see progress in ways I didn't expect.(I've done weight loss stuff for years y'all... tried everything) I'm absorbing, experimenting and analyzing and it is a bit of an obsession for me.

60 days will be good and give me a jump before summer. One more confession... I've always wanted a nose ring. But I've never been truly confident to get one. I guess it's my artsy side? No matter what diet/weight loss plan I started in my life time, if I got down to 250, my "reward" was to finally get it done... of course, I never planned it would take me this long to get even close to it. I will be turning 30 next month. I have 2 kids and married... I still really like the tiny stud, but I'm kind of a chicken lol am I too old now?

Whole30!... Well Almost :/

So, This was going to be my Whole30 wrap up post.... only.... its more like Whole25 :/ I will come right out and admit that I did NOT make the whole 30 days.

Last Friday, I had a ton of things going on, and I was upset. I was tired and I had to sit through a pretty lame birthday party for one of my kid's friends and ...yeah. It all ended while I was in the car on the way home from the party and realized that a fun size snickers (yes, I stole it from my kids party bags) was halfway down my throat and gone. It was pretty anticlimactic. I actually didn't get upset or anything.... just kind of a.... 'well, darn' feeling more than anything else. I think I didn't really get upset because I've had so much (and I mean so much!) success with this way of eating over the past few weeks that I had already made up my mind to finish my whole30 (oops) and then take a week or so off and do another 30.... or whatever.

But lets go back to my Whole30 25. I'm really excited to be able to share what I've learned. First off, before I eliminated sugar from my diet, I could have told you that I wasn't really that addicted to sugar. huh, boy did I eat those words. By day 5, I was such a mad, frustrated, sad... crazy person. Sugar withdrwals are no fun. When I had a dream about bread loaves and donuts chasing me down the street.... I knew I had it pretty bad. But with the help of my mom cheering me on and listening to me weep over how much I thought I wasn't addicted to food, I pushed through and came out of the dark cloud around day 8. 

It still really took a while before I discovered the amazing feeling I kept hearing people talk about. My energy picked up around day 14-15 and kept getting better from there. I felt like I was in a really good mood... I'm in a pretty good mood most of the time really, but my mind felt clear and alert. It was great.

I seriously don't regret any of my whole30 experience. Its one of the most eye opening experiences I've ever had in my life. I don't have any food cravings anymore. (Don't take this the wrong way, there is still a chubby little kid inside me that wants to sit around and eat cupcakes all day... I don't think she will never leave) I don't crave the bad stuff. I'm ok with having a whole plate of Brussels sprouts for dinner (and did so on multiple occasions) I found new foods that I love! and new recipes that are now my list of favorites.

The one thing that I think made the biggest impression on me is that I found FREEDOM..... freedom from food. freedom from cravings. Freedom to 'eat to live' and not 'live to eat' anymore. I figured out that I can eat healthy and be happy about it (not, just eat your lettuce and be sad all the time).

Ok so blah blah blah... these are great life lessons and all, but what about the numbers?? Come on, lets get to the good stuff, right? ... I am a little ashamed to say that I started this journey with the scale on a number I was really not happy about. Shoot, I didn't even want to tell you, but..... 284 pounds. YUCK.... However, I finished my 25 days with my lowest weight since before I can remember..... 266 pounds!! (for the non mathematical people...) That is 18 pounds!!!! Say what what?? Can you feel my giant successful smile through these words I'm writing right now.

Yes, I'm so thrilled to be so much healthier than I was a few weeks ago and not just in weight loss numbers. My blood sugars are now in such good shape that I quit taking my insulin and am now just on oral meds (By the way, I'm ridiculously careful with my numbers and measuring and testing and tracking. I don't recommend going off your insulin or any medication, without first consulting your doctor) Also, my blood pressure has dropped. I'm hoping to back off of a little on that medication soon too. So...... in conclusion, good things all around and I am more than happy that I decided to embark on this (seemingly ridiculous) whole30 journey!!

So this weekend has been my 'off' time. I've enjoyed a few little treats. I made delicious peanut butter cookies today. They were glorious... I've enjoyed like 10 of them today :/ Holy cow, peanut butter perfection. really..... but life just needs cookies sometimes. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm getting back in the whole30 lifestyle again. I had tremendous results and I'm not ready to quit yet. :)

Everybody Dieting

This post is a bit off my normal topic... Yet still in line with the overall idea of weight loss in general.... huh? .....Ok let me put it this way, I don't want to talk about my weight loss stuff today. I'd like to talk about yours.

I've had many people ask me over the years for advice on health or what diet was easy to follow etc. I am not a professional. I don't have a degree in health or anything. I can only give you my opinion, backed by the only thing I have to give... experience. Just being generally healthy is a good goal to have. At this point in my life... my dreams of being a super strong body builder are about as achievable as me walking on the moon. But I'm doing what I can to be the best I can be. (By the way, I don't aspire to be a body builder... I'd just like to not be classified with a dangerous BMI)

Your intentions in the beginning are always amazing. You're strong and you're determined. You're a planner and have it all in your head what to do, what to eat, what not to eat, workout schedules, exercises etc. This is going to be great! .... Until you encounter that first bit of temptation too wonderful to say no to. Maybe you had a bad day? Maybe you're exhausted and don't feel like cooking. Whatever the reason may be, you're human. It doesn't matter how good your intentions were in the beginning, you need to realize that somewhere down the line.... you're just going to want to eat the darn cupcake! And even one more carrot stick is just going to make you cry....


So, what now? After you've devoured the cupcake (or 3?) the guilt may start to settle in and beat you up about not staying on the straight and narrow diet path. Place your focus not on the "why did I fail?" but on "whats done is done, now what?" If you choose the answer to that question well, you will be one step closer to succeeding. You will be wiser and stronger and certainly one step closer than all the other people who usually give up at this point. That is quite possibly the hardest lesson in dieting: learning to accept that you are human.

Its no lie that I've bounced around like a wild a crazy super ball from diet to diet for most of my life. And I still have about 50 pounds (give or take) to lose. I've lost a little over 100 so far though and I'm beyond happy with that. I've tried just about everything healthy and sometimes unhealthy. I'm in a really good place right now with the Whole30 plan. (read here if you missed that post) I'm not going to lie.... I'm a little crazy sometimes, but I know in my head and in my heart THIS is a good thing for me right now. I know Tthat my body is better than it was 15 days ago when I started this. to me, THAT is motivation to finish it out strong and continue with this.

If you see me in the next few weeks, I apologize in advance if I bore you with food facts or ingredients or explaining to you why we don't drink cows milk in this house.  My brain is in a really focused state of soaking up knowledge and really living in this 'whole30' nutrition mindset. Just be prepared. If you ask me, you may hear more than you planned on listening to :)

Also, I decided not to weigh myself (at all) from day 10-20. Big leap of faith for me... seeing those numbers go down is a really big motivating factor for me. I will continue to do what feels right for my body. If you'd like to learn more about Whole30, click here. It will direct you to their website where they offer all you need to know for free. :)

Goodnight!