A few pounds down

269.4.... a beautiful sight to see this morning.

The scale moved down a few pounds this week and I don't have a big explanation for it. I'm eating a balanced diet. Balanced meaning I aim for healthy and don't beat myself up if I crave a package of skittles..... Yep.... Skittles are my favorite candy. 

I know I've been absent for a while... I've been struggling... I've been frustrated. I've been wanting to pretend all this weight just didn't exist.

This blog is a place I can write my struggles and ask for support, but I HATE singing the same song over and over and over again...

I haven't put my 100% into eating perfect because I feel like even when I do... I don't get the results I expect. Don't get me wrong.... I'm realistic. I don't expect 5 pounds to be gone because I ate a salad. I know its a slow process! However, when I don't see any results and I feel like I'm putting my everything into it... ugh... anyone who has ever had issues with weight (isn't this everyone?) understands what I'm trying to say.

I explained Cushings a few weeks back. Its something I've struggled with the effects of for most of my life. Trying to lose the weight has been a lifelong battle for me. Most health professionals that I've talked have told me that 'fat is fat'. It doesn't matter how it got there... by excessive cortisol/steroids, or by excessive donuts/calories... fat is fat and you have to do the same amount of work to get it off...... Well... My name is Christen, I'm 29 years old and I'm calling a Big Fat (no pun intended) Bull S**T on this.... There. I said it. Its not a cop out for why my progress is so slow. I've lost a total of 106 pounds. I've shed countless tears and drops of sweat, starved myself on many occasions... I've worked my butt off.... and through personal experience... I'm telling you fat in result of excess calories IS NOT is not the same as fat in result of excess steroids.

I'm going to get an appointment with a new endocrinologist and bring this up with her. See if there has been any new research on this. I have years of research on myself.

In other news, I decided to do another 5K with a friend... Yup. I jumped on the crazy train again. :) Its not for a while... but its another goal in mind. I want to beat my previous time by at least a half hour. If we pick a course without hills... this should be easy lol I thought those would be the death of me during my first 5K!

Have a good weekend! ... Time to get up and get the day started! <3