Monday, July 9, 2012

Change must start from the inside

The scale and I this week....oh my.... we couldn't be further apart... we seem to be on different sides of the world...... I'm not going to sit here and whine and say how much I wish it were lower and I'll try harder next week... no, I'm mad at the darn thing! I've still been on track and still on my plan and the scale isn't budging! I don't think its a plateau. I think its just a weird fluke and its kind of starting to piss me off at this point because I was really looking forward to the day this week where I surpassed my lowest number, that I can ever remember being, on the scale.

It'll move at some point. I know it will. I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and wait it out.... maybe blame it on a weird women's hormonal thing or some weight loss devils messing with my head or something. (personally, I picture fat little gremlins climbing on the scale to weigh it down when I'm not looking....)

I was really hoping to surpass that goal of 274 last week. That will be 101 pounds that I have lost. As of this morning the scale said 278.6 (yes.... thats UP (#%&%$#) from last week). Maybe last week just wasn't meant to be my week and this week is?

As I continue on this journey... I'm learning how important it is that change doesn't start on the outside. It must start on the inside. I used to find myself thinking "If I could just lose 50 pounds, I'd be a much better person" or "If I lose the weight, I'll finally let myself do ____." I'm realizing how wrong that way of thinking was. I'm still the same person. Losing weight won't make me a better person. What makes that change is learning to love yourself as you are and loving yourself enough to take care of your body. Your body will respond, but the change has to start within.

Heres to hoping that the numbers will start responding this week... I'm not done yet.

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