Saturday, July 9, 2011

All The Answers

Some days I wake up a winner and somedays I wake up feeling like I'm floundering around with no idea what I'm doing.

I think its the lack of sleep from having a second baby. Feeding twice a night and rocking back to sleep... I think its affecting both me and my husband... though thankfully we haven't broken down at the same time yet. Let me tell you, when people say sleep is important... they aren't kidding. I know we went through this 'new parent' phase with Emma Kate... I know we did, but the funny thing is... I don't remember most of it. I imagine the lack of sleep is to blame for loss of memory too. *Anyone remember where I was going with this??*... Oh yes...

I'm blaming lack of sleep on my inability to commit to eating really well 100% right now. I feel like I'm making good choices MOST of the time. I feel like I know too much nutritionally to ever have a calorie free for all without the dreary cloud of guilt that would follow. I know all the weight loss answers. I know how important it is to drink water. I know that refined sugar and refined flour raises my insulin and packs weight onto my belly. I know that it's a mathematical situation and that you must eat less than you burn. I know that daily exercise is important in maintenance and a little less important to weight loss--but that doesn't diminish it's effect on your mood, energy and sense of well-being. Cardio burns fat. Weight training adds muscle and muscle increases your metabolism. I know the calorie count of most foods, which are ok to eat and which should be banned from entering my house. I know. I know. I know.

Truth be told, I wish time would advance about 6 months from now. I don't want to miss this precious time with my babies, but I seriously look forward to a time when our life revolves more around predictability rather than being completely unpredictable. Right now, my days are spent sitting on the couch during the day and sitting in the rocking chair at night. In between, trying to do laundry and general cleaning and making sure I've showered and attempted to get dressed... Organization? scheduling?... please... I don't see it in our future for a while... I dream of being able to work on a schedule. lol

I don't think throwing myself into a strict diet is going to do anything but take away what little sanity I think I still have left at the end of the day. Baby steps is going to the only thing I can do to keep moving forward. I read on another girl's blog that she vowed not to eat a french fry for a year. A year? I can do that. Goodbye starchy friends. cut down on refined carbs? I can do that too.

37 pounds. 37 pounds. 37 pounds. Eye on the prize.

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