Monday, February 27, 2012

A little vent and a binge

FYI: This one is a bit of a venting post. Bad days... we all have 'em.

Today started out as a bad day. I tried as best I could to turn it around... you know... "make the best of things". I tried not to get discouraged. Maddox sleeps in the bed with me. I woke up this morning to him chewing on my hair. (ew) and then the details of what happened in the next 10 minutes I will not share because its too gross. But I will say it involved baby poop. yuck.

Went to the grocery store today instead of tomorrow because I felt like it and didn't mind taking both my kids with me this trip. It went ok, despite the tantrum when we couldn't find one of the "car carts" You know the gigantic shopping carts with the kid steering wheels? yeah, the ones moms hate, but kids love. Normal trip.

Then there was my doctor... (nevermind.... thats a long story) Lets just say I'm without my normal medications today because he refuses to refill them and give me more than a 2 month supply without coming in the office. thus... I feel like crap. Doctor appointment tomorrow.

Maybe its the lack of medication wearing on my nerves but the kids are driving me craaaaaazy! On the way home from HEB, I lost it. (You know what I mean girls...) The tears started and didn't stop the whole way home. Just one of those days.

When I got home, I had a glass of wine (yes, at 1:00 in the afternoon) and a Key lime Jello temptation. I got them while on my shopping trip because they're only 100 calories each and sometimes a treat in the evening is nice to have without ruining a whole day of watching my calories. I figure I'd keep them on hand and use them sparingly. delicious. yumminess..... half an hour passed. I fell back into my old habits. I went and ate the other jello temptation, and then the other one. yup.... I ate all 3.... And then I felt better.

Certainly not the worst binge in the world. But I had fallen back into my old habits of using food to console my bad feelings away. And I had added 300 extra (unnecessary) calories to my day. And just like always, right there waiting for me after that yummy food high was guilt. ugh.

Instead of sitting there surrounded by my indulging guilt, I decided to get up and do something about it. I put Maddox to sleep and pulled out my wii fit. I worked out hard for an hour doing the most intense exercises I could. 345 calories burned, baby :) Everything feels right again and I finished my day just under my calorie goal.

Success and balance in weight loss will be learned skill for me.

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