Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Closet Dieter

I just want to tell everyone thank you so much for the sweet words and encouragement after my last "Photo Post" blog. I feel so loved and uplifted. I feel as if I've been pushed further in the right direction. Its such a wonderful blessing!

For years and years I've been an 'in the closet' dieter. I didn't tell anyone. I just fought my battle alone. I didn't want to let anyone down. and... I didn't want to feel guilty if someone saw me eating unhealthy. I saw dieting as a punishment for the way you lead your life while piling on the pounds and you were meant to suffer for it ... yeah................. I have no idea what I was thinking. As I'm typing it out I can see how cruel and stupid my logic was.

Truth is, I was embarrassed to always be the girl on some diet. I don't know why I thought hiding the fact that I was eating diet food would make my fat somehow less visible to others.

Whatever.... I'm done hiding it. My joy and my pain along with everything else is all out there and out of my dark diet closet. I'm ready to get rid of it. Sharing my journey has really opened my eyes to two things. 1) I'm not the only person in the world who wants to change their life style to a healthier one and at some point or another we're all clueless, we get bored, and have to work at it to keep from slipping up. (maybe that is more than 1 thing...?) AND 2) I know the most amazing people in the world! My family and friends have been showering me with the greatest love and support and encouragement. For the first time, I really see no turning back.

Weight loss update: This week I really really hit my diet hard. I meal planned and I stuck to it. I counted EVERY SINGLE STINKIN calorie I ate. every one. I ate more protein and fiber rich foods and less carbs. I even planned my meal before eating at the cheesecake factory and stayed perfectly within my calorie range(no cheesecake)! And I had a glass of wine a few nights. yum. (drumroll.....) I never once felt deprived! I felt satisfied not only with my food in my tummy but with the choices I made and being in control.

I hadn't lost weight for over a month (I actually gained a few pounds! eek!).... but I'm now proud to say that I saw the numbers on the scale drop. 10 (!!!)... 10 pounds! Even I am floored by the results! I don't expect it will be the same next week... first weight loss weeks are always the big numbers, but I wouldn't mind if it happened again. :)

I'll leave you with this little sentence that has made a big impact on me and my choices this week. Au revoir!



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